Arbit 2nd only to Dilbert ...


Popular website BrightHub rates Arbit Choudhury as the 2nd best in Change Management, preceded only by Dilbert.

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Maya - Reasons why on should not fall for an MBA: A Finance major would try to maximize the ROI from the relationship. A Human resource (HR) Major would make you fill approaisal forms. A Supply Chain major would expect a 6-sigma performance levels. A Marketing major would never keep promises

Maya - Reasons why on should not fall for an MBA:

  • A Finance major would try to maximize the ROI from the relationship.

  • A Human resource (HR) Major would make you fill approaisal forms.

  • A Supply Chain major would expect a 6-sigma performance levels.

  • A Marketing major would never keep promises


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Arbit :- Seems like all under-trial prisoners in the Central Jail have gone on a hunger strike. PS:- Really !! And why is that? Arbit:- They too want a bail-out package from the government !!
Arbit :- Seems like all under-trial prisoners in the Central Jail have gone on a hunger strike. PS:- Really !! And why is that? Arbit:- They too want a bail-out package from the government!!

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Antique Jain: Our Marketing syllabus is completed before time, so the next 4 sessions are free..  Antique Jain continues:.. but Prof. Rangareddy will take these sessions as his syllabus is lagging behind.. Arbit - That's what I call Fringe Benefit Tax ..
Antique Jain: Our Marketing syllabus is completed before time, so the next 4 sessions are free.. Antique Jain continues:.. but Prof. Rangareddy will take these sessions as his syllabus is lagging behind.. Arbit - That's what I call Fringe Benefit Tax ..

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Arbit Choudhury: The leader of the coalition govt. in our state has been invited to give a Guest Lecture in our B-school. Perplex Singh: That's Cool!! What topic would he speak on? Arbit Choudhury: Change Management during Mergers and Acquisitions !!
Arbit Choudhury: The leader of the coalition govt. in our state has been invited to give a Guest Lecture in our B-school. Perplex Singh: That's Cool!! What topic would he speak on? Arbit Choudhury: Change Management during Mergers and Acquisitions !!

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Perplex Singh:- Many economists have raised doubts on the effectiveness of Govt's aid for bankrupt companies. Arbit Choudhury:- Yeah ... But I think one type of aid is bound to succeed every time. Perplex Singh:- Which one? Arbit Choudhury:- Aid for under-privileged children.
Perplex Singh:- Many economists have raised doubts on the effectiveness of Govt's aid for bankrupt companies. Arbit Choudhury:- Yeah ... But I think one type of aid is bound to succeed every time. Perplex Singh:- Which one? Arbit Choudhury:- Aid for under-privileged children.

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Arbit Choudhury- Love is like the Stock Market.. The highs are intoxicating.. The lows are devastating.. And the returns are mostly notional !!
Arbit Choudhury- Love is like the Stock Market.. The highs are intoxicating.. The lows are devastating.. And the returns are mostly notional !!

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TekNik - You know what.. Traffic on dating sites has tripled in past few months!   Arbit Choudhury- Yup !! It's because all the girl friends and fiancees of the Investment Bankers have ditched them !!
TekNik - You know what.. Traffic on dating sites has tripled in past few months!
Arbit Choudhury- Yup !! It's because all the girl friends and fiancees of the Investment Bankers have ditched them !!

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Antique Jain:- Hey Arbit! I am going to New York for my summer internship.What can I get for you? Arbit CHoudhury:- How about an Investment Bank.
Antique Jain:- Hey Arbit! I am going to New York for my summer internship.What can I get for you?
Arbit Choudhury:- How about an Investment Bank.

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Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit! What book should I read to know what an Investment banker does? Arbit:- Read any modern book on Extinct Species
Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit! What book should I read to know what an Investment banker does?
Arbit:- Read any modern book on Extinct Species

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TekNik:- The 'Corporate Innovation Cell' in our company is conceptualizing a new accounting software for banks. Arbit:- Sounds interesting. How do they plan to do this? TekNik:- By studying existing accounting softwares of other companies!!
TekNik:- The 'Corporate Innovation Cell' in our company is conceptualizing a new accounting software for banks.
Arbit:- Sounds interesting. How do they plan to do this?
TekNik:- By studying existing accounting softwares of other companies!!

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Prof LR:- Arbit!! Name an insurance product with low insurance premium and very high risk coverage.Arbit:- Condoms !!
Prof LR:- Arbit!! Name an insurance product with low insurance premium and very high risk coverage.
Arbit:- Condoms !!

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Arbit:- What would your father say if I told him I wish to buy 100% stake in your property named Maya. Maya:- He would give you full permission.. provided you also take over all the liabilities of Maya's parent company.
Arbit:- What would your father say if I told him I wish to buy 100% stake in your property named Maya.
Maya:- He would give you full permission.. provided you also take over all the liabilities of Maya's parent company.

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Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit!! I was trying to make sense of the financial crisis!! What happens when Debt holder becomes equity holder by exercising convertible bonds? Arbit:- Exactly the same as what happens when Girl Friend which is Fixed expense per month is promoted to Wife who takes  your Full Salary.
Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit!! I was trying to make sense of the financial crisis!! What happens when Debt holder becomes equity holder by exercising convertible bonds?
Arbit:- Exactly the same as what happens when Girl Friend which is Fixed expense per month is promoted to Wife who takes your Full Salary.

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TekNik:- Hey Arbit! Where is Perplex Singh these days. Haven't seen him for a while. Arbit:- A distributor of low ROI FMCG products has Warehoused him with its Viral Marketing TekNik:???? Arbit: he has got Maleria!!
TekNik:- Hey Arbit! Where is Perplex Singh these days. Haven't seen him for a while.
Arbit:- A distributor of low ROI FMCG products has Warehoused him with its Viral Marketing
TekNik:????
Arbit: he has got Maleria!!

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Perplex Singh:- Did the recent Big Bang experiment at CERN create any Black Holes? Arbit:- Yes. In the Balance Sheets of many Investment Banks
Perplex Singh:- Did the recent Big Bang experiment at CERN create any Black Holes?
Arbit:- Yes. In the Balance Sheets of many Investment Banks

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Arbit: You know what! Today we had a guest lecture on non-performing assets in banking! I was wondering, what are the non-performing asset in tour IT company. TekNik:- Managers!! Idea Sent By:- Subhajit Kundu Through Orkut
Arbit: You know what! Today we had a guest lecture on non-performing assets in banking! I was wondering, what are the non-performing asset in tour IT company.
TekNik:- Managers!!
Idea Sent By:- Subhajit Kundu Through Orkut

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Antique Jain:- I heard BCCI is offering summer internships this year!  Arbit Choudhury:- Yes. They are offering projects related to Cost Benefit Analysis of the Indian Premier League !!
Antique Jain:- I heard BCCI is offering summer internships this year!
Arbit Choudhury:- Yes. They are offering projects related to and Cost Benefit Analysis of Indian Premier League !!

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SMS Joke -  Question:- Why did the Operations Manager run away from the Stock Market?  Answer:- Coz. he was out-of-stock !!
SMS Joke -
Question:- Why did the Operations Manager run away from the Stock Market?
Answer:- Coz. he was "out of stock"

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Valentine's Day Special  Arbit Choudhury:- Will you add a few shares of my love in your portfolio?  Maya:- No thanks. My portfolio is already quite diversified.
Valentine's Day Special
Arbit Choudhury:- Will you add a few shares of my love in your portfolio?
Maya:- No thanks. My portfolio is already quite diversified.

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Antique Jain:- I lost 10,000 bucks in share trading today!!What can be more capricious than the Stock Market? Arbit Choudhury:- WOMEN !!
Antique Jain:- I lost 10,000 bucks in share trading today!!What can be more capricious than the Stock Market?
Arbit Choudhury:- WOMEN !!

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Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit! Should I take up Finance or Marketing majors? Arbit Choudhury:- Depends on who do you want to dupe for a living. The Investor or the Customer!!

Perplex Singh:- Hey Arbit! Should I take up Finance or Marketing majors? Arbit Choudhury:- Depends on who do you want to dupe for a living. The Investor or the Customer!!

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Maya:- Arbit, had I not proposed to you, how would you have proposed to me? Arbit Choudhury:- You have become the leader in all the market segments of my heart, I would like to convert you into a permanent asset in my life's balance sheet.

Maya:- Arbit, had I not proposed to you, how would you have proposed to me? Arbit Choudhury:- You have become the leader in all the market segments of my heart, I would like to convert you into a permanent asset in my life's balance sheet.

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Arbit Choudhury:- You know Maya .. My 10 year old cousin is sure to become an MBA in Finance some day .. Maya:-Why … what happened? Arbit Choudhury:- He has complained to his parents that his pocket money is not in tune with rising inflation.

Arbit Choudhury:- You know Maya .. My 10 year old cousin is sure to become an MBA in Finance some day .. Maya:-Why … what happened? Arbit Choudhury:- He has complained to his parents that his pocket money is not in tune with rising inflation.

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Prof. Lingampally Rangareddy:- Arpit .. Can you relate Fixed cost can Variable cost? Arbit Choudhury:- Sir .. Fixed cost is variable per unit whereas variable cost is ‘fixed’ per unit.

Prof. Lingampally Rangareddy:- Arpit .. Can you relate Fixed cost can Variable cost? Arbit Choudhury:- Sir .. Fixed cost is variable per unit whereas variable cost is ‘fixed’ per unit.

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Arbit Choudhury’s MBA ROI Model:- MBA Payback Period = [Cost if MBA Education + Opportunity Cost of 2 years + Loss of salary for 2 years] / CTC Received

Arbit Choudhury’s MBA ROI Model:- MBA Payback Period = [Cost if MBA Education + Opportunity Cost of 2 years + Loss of salary for 2 years] / CTC Received

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Perplex:- Hey Arbit, what topic have you chosen for Business Economics presentation? Arbit Choudhury:- 'Impact of rising B-school salaries on bottomline of Corporates'

Perplex:- Hey Arbit, what topic have you chosen for Business Economics presentation? Arbit Choudhury:- “Impact of rising B-school salaries on bottomline of Corporates”

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Arbit Choudhury:- Prof. LR is a perfect specimen of an under-developed economy. Perplex Singh:- How Come ?? Arbit Choudhury:- His hairline is in recession, his stomach is a victim of inflation, his marriage is a bad debt, and all this is putting him into depression!!! Idea sent by - Avinash Kumar , IIT KGP
Arbit Choudhury:- Prof. LR is a perfect specimen of an under-developed economy. Perplex Singh:- How Come ?? Arbit Choudhury:- His hairline is in recession, his stomach is a victim of inflation, his marriage is a bad debt, and all this is putting him into depression!!! Idea sent by - Avinash Kumar , IIT KGP

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Prof. LR:- Arpit! Do you know what Corporate Fringe benefit cannot be taxed under law? Arbit Choudhury:- Beautiful Co-workers !!
Prof. LR:- Arpit! Do you know what Corporate Fringe benefit cannot be taxed under law?
Arbit Choudhury:- Beautiful Co-workers !!

Prof. LR:- Arpit! Do you know what Corporate Fringe benefit cannot be taxed under law?
Arbit Choudhury:- Beautiful Co-workers !!

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TekNik:- Hey Arbit, what is your summer project in a BPO company all about?<br />Arbit Choudhury:- Six Sigma implementation for countering attrition through hostile takeovers
TekNik:- Hey Arbit, what is your summer project in a BPO company all about?
Arbit Choudhury:- Six Sigma implementation for countering attrition through hostile takeovers

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Maya:- Hey Arbit! What does love mean to an MBA?? Arbit Choudhury:- A Long Term Relationship Management Initiative, with High Input Costs, and Intangible ROI.
Maya:- Hey Arbit! What does love mean to an MBA??
Arbit Choudhury:- A Long Term Relationship Management Initiative, with High Input Costs, and Intangible ROI.

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Antique Jain:- With Placements around the corner, which companies are you targeting? Arbit Choudhury:- Investment Banks, Consulting, FMCGs, in that order. Antique Jain:- And if you don’t make it to any of these. What is Plan B? Arbit Choudhury:- Same as everyone else’s. An IT company!!
Antique Jain:- With Placements around the corner, which companies are you targeting?
Arbit Choudhury:- Investment Banks, Consulting, FMCGs, in that order.
Antique Jain:- And if you don’t make it to any of these. What is Plan B?
Arbit Choudhury:- Same as everyone else’s. An IT company!!

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B-school finance funda:- 1. ROI = CTC received / fee paid 2. Two parts of Corporate Financing – a. Financing decision – Searching for a bank to take a loan for MBA b. Investment decision – Adequate allocation of the above loan amongst Movies, Booze, Affairs. Idea sent by – Amit Dutta, NITIE
B-school finance funda:-
1. ROI = CTC received / fee paid
2. Two parts of Corporate Financing –
a. Financing decision – Searching for a bank to take a loan for MBA
b. Investment decision – Adequate allocation of the above loan amongst Movies, Booze, Affairs.
Idea sent by – Amit Dutta, NITIE

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Arbit SMS joke Question:- What was Anil Ambani's favorite subject at Wharton? Answer:- De-mergers and Acquisitions
Arbit SMS joke
Question:- What was Anil Ambani's favorite subject at Wharton?
Answer:- De-mergers and Acquisitions

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TekNik:- Give me a practical example of assets and liabilities. Arbit Choudhury:- Asset- Girlfriend, Liability- Wife
TekNik:- Give me a practical example of assets and liabilities.
Arbit Choudhury:- Asset- Girlfriend, Liability- Wife

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Arbit Choudhury saying:- A Budget is something that a Finance Minister bares, and everyone else bears!
Arbit Choudhury saying:- A Budget is something that a Finance Minister bares, and everyone else bears!

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B-school rankings are like stock prices, they keep going up and down
B-school rankings are like stock prices, they keep going up and down

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Antique Jain:- Why are assets on the right and liabilities on the left side of the balance sheet? Arbit Choudhury:- Because when you have exercised all the Rights over your assets; you are Left with only liabilities.
Antique Jain:- Why are assets on the right and liabilities on the left side of the balance sheet? Arbit Choudhury:- Because when you have exercised all the Rights over your assets; you are Left with only liabilities.

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Arbit Choudhury:- You are not moving around with your girlfriend these days? Antique Jain:- After careful cost benefit analysis, I concluded that the overhead costs were steadily increasing and were and there wasn't enough ROI, so the project was terminated. Arbit Choudhury:- Oh! Seems she diteched you!!
Arbit Choudhury:- You are not moving around with your girlfriend these days? Antique Jain:- After careful cost benefit analysis, I concluded that the overhead costs were steadily increasing and were and there wasn't enough ROI, so the project was terminated. Arbit Choudhury:- Oh! Seems she diteched you!!

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Prof LR:- Give me an real life example of a Mergers and Acquisitions. Arbit Choudhury:- Merger: Live In Relationships. Acquistion: Marriage.
Prof LR:- Give me an real life example of a Mergers and Acquisitions. Arbit Choudhury:- Merger: Live In Relationships. Acquistion: Marriage.

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